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</head> The world as it should be
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Updated: 02/19/2015 06:33:30PM

The world as it should be

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Mike Brennan
Put in my opinion, which I respect.

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As I look around, I see many ways to improve life by just following several rules/policies.

First of all, coffee and soup is to be HOT. No excuses here, you may continue to partake of vichyssoise; however, it may not be referred to as soup. Why? We just established that soup is HOT. In like manner, beer is COLD.

People who go to the grocery store should bring in a cart off the lot with them. Why walk past a half dozen, get to the door and scream at the store personnel that there are no carts. I am not suggesting here that you, the customer, should clear the lot. That job will remain the store’s job. But if you’re walking past one and you know you will need one, then get it. They’re not heavy and they are in fact on wheels.

Wet paint signs are to be outlawed. After all, they are only an invitation to check for yourself. I contend that fewer people would get paint on them if we did away with the signs. Does it not sound odd to you, that we will believe someone if he or she says there are billions of stars in sky and yet we will check the wet paint sign? We need to be protected from ourselves on this issue.

You should be allowed to shoot people who drive slowly in the left hand lane of the highway. This reminds me, why do we call it “tourist season” if we can’t shoot them also?

Companies should be fined for using phrases like “new and improved.” If it’s new, how can it be improved? And if it’s improved, it certainly can’t be new.

People should have to take a test in order to have children. We test to drive a car, to get a high school diploma, yet the most difficult thing you will ever do can just be done. People, children don’t come with an instruction manual.

And, last but not least, we will give X a value. We spend way too much time trying to determine the value of X and sometimes even Y. What is so special about those two letters? I mean H and L are nice letters yet we spend no energy or thought trying to figure out their value. From this point on the value of X will be 9 and Y will be 4. Now get on with learning math that you can use. By the way, I will allow someone else to determine the value of H and L.

All of the above is my opinion, which I respect.

Mike Brennan is an business teacher at Bartow High School.

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